More confused than ever

[woundedfool]

and any thoughts on him offering to move into the house to be on the couch so I can quit my second job? I know not to do that right now but how long until that is reasonable IF that's the route I want to go

A few things you are putting the cart before the horse. Zero chance I would even consider that right now, I don't want to set a time line, but think several months, at least into the new year.

And you don't ask but finances should be TOTALLY separate for at least a year (maybe even forever).

He also should be helping out with the expenses for the household.

Did your L ever come up with a separation agreement.