Tell him that it's up to him to put up or shut up. Tell him to start planning on how things are going to proceed towards reconciliation in one week and a specific timeline because you are done.
Then don't contact him.
MrBond-Meaning how is he going to show me thru his actions that these aren't just words. Do I suggest what I need to move forward? I know earlier in my stitch you told me it seemed I was focusing on the A. So, I made a huge effort to focus on what role I played in our problems. I feel like I can now address the things he needs and work in ways to provide. But, in telling him what I need, is this back to focusing on the A?
Don't mean to sound stupid but I'm really struggling with coming out of LRT and being dark to having normal conversations with him. For the past 2 days he has texted throughout the day just little things about a meeting or how his day was going. He also texted that he is thinking of quitting his job soon. For me to let him know if I hear of anything. (Is that putting responsibility on me?) Also, texted me that he had concert tickets & hotel rooms booked for a concert next month. He wants me to go & if any of my couple friends wanted to go with us. It's feels weird to go back to having frequent communication with him.
Thank you Train for your insight. I went back and reread your thread when things changed in your stitch. It's helpful to see that things can change quick.
I'm concerned that he is just saying whatever he needs to, to string me along. Although, considering how he has acted the past 3 months - not sure he would care at this point.
Why if he was called out again on OW & I told him I was done does he then decide to tell me he wants to work on the marriage? How can he switch his feelings on & off. Like before BD I had no idea anything was wrong. Then Boom. Now, he decides he wants to work on things. I don't understand.
He still says he feels like we were separated. I don't know how that gives him a free pass to do whatever he pleases. He wants to work on marriage issues that led us to separation not what happened during separation.
I know there aren't guarantees this won't happen again. I don't even know the steps to take to begin working on things. I haven't presented the No contact letter & transparency plan. I want to do that in person when he is at our home this weekend.
He told me that he wants to work on our marriage. Will he still want to work on it after transparency plan is presented? Who knows.
How do you know if you are reconciling and what does that look like in terms of going slow & not ending up right where we left off?
I feel like I don't even know him anymore. I did DB for myself and now I don't want what we had. If the other person doesn't accept responsibility for poor choices during a separation how do I heal?
H:40 Me:35 D5 S4 S3 months Married 8 years Together 17 years BD: 5/23/2014
