Wow, Wonka. That's some sad stuff. And I'm glad you got it off your chest. I find that whole gig really perplexing, and although I know what I've read about domestic abuse, it's the kind of topic where I have ZIP experience in it myself.
However, it's not that far removed from me physically.
I live next door to such a dynamic, and have for 14 years. The couple are my parents' ages (77), have 4 kids and lots of grandkids. The husband is a retired AF colonel. He's a drunk who is verbally and physically abusive to his wife. He's gone to jail, been under court supervised antabuse (for 2 years!), and his wife remains with him to this day.
My neighbors have all called the cops to no avail. In fact, I have a cop friend who used to work the 12-8 shift that I used to invite over for breakfast at the end of his shift. The first time he came over I actually knew what he was going to say. And he didn't fail me. "I knew exactly where you were. It was really easy for me to find your house. I've had calls to your next door neighbor's house many times."
What's really disturbing is that I talked with my cop friends at great lengths about this. They told me to tread carefully due to the Freedom of Information act. He has a right to find out who contacted the sheriff. They told me that they could break into the house if I was convinced that he was going to kill her, so to know I have a trump card. But they advised me to let other neighbors call the cops because I live next door and we don't know how things would play out for me personally.
It really stinks. I hate hearing what he yells. It's awful, and I wouldn't yell that sh!t at a spider, let alone another human being. For the life of me, I don't understand why her kids don't kidnap her and press charges against their dad. He's beaten her up before, and they know it. It's supremely sad to me.
A couple days ago I was out watering my flowers when a lady and her dog walked by and a tirade was in process. She shook her head sadly and said, "I always wondered which house it was, and I live clear at the end of the block."
Yuck.
The whole thing is yuck. And the saddest part is that they want to want to leave. Nothing else will do the trick.
Good for you for offering to shelter her awhile. You're a good egg, Wonka. It reflects well on you and your generous heart.
Hugs-Bets
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
