You're right my mind changed quickly. It was the attention from someone and the filling of 'my love tank' I know this. It is like an addiction I need to give up so I can look at my H and focus on the real reasons why I would or would not want to fix things.
My H has said to me he really saw a change in me since basketball started. He said the biggest thing was how happy the boys and I were. How we were ALWAYS doing something fun. He said it really got to him that we were having a good time and doing things he wasn't a part of and that we seemed okay with that
He said he noticed how strong and independent I had become. That I didn't let his attitude affect me or how I acted (if he only knew I was posting here like a crazy person and crying to my mom!!). I really have to thank you all so much because I know in my heart none of this would have been possible without all of the excellent advice. Thank you for holding my hand and helping me see this through.
I know I want to save my M. I really do. I'm just afraid to admit that to H. I'm afraid to fall back into old habits. I want to see that he is serious about making this work. I don't feel comfortable just telling him I'm willing to try after a week of him asking. How long is enough time before I can tell him that. I did agree to putting the divorce on hold.
