barely holding on - 3

[u-turn]

Hey Dawgy - I hope you're doing better.

Sometimes I am dubious of the rare hugs and acting nice. I second guess it. Is she doing it because she wants to show me something or just to keep me hanging on? Just giving me enough to keep me close. That is where the detachment is working for me. I find that right now I cannot let it effect me (I try not to let it anyway).

Her questioning this is a movement and I totally agree with the fact that she has to work toward forgiving herself - she has actually said that before and it will be hard. This may be what will hold her back and there's nothing I can do about it. Sometimes you just wish you could carry them through this.

I read from Lovethehub on somebody's thread that she in fact was not overridden in guilt at the time. I don't know if my W is. So it makes me wonder the same. I would think that the guilt would eat me alive, but with the fog they must not be thinking clearly at all. I couldn't even imagine doing this to someone (though that sounds very judgmental).