I'm sure OM is a rebound who is fun, no drama, no attachments and I am EXTREMELY physically attracted to
Sandi - you raise a great point. Why so suddenly did he change his tune. I have and continue to pose this question to H. He told me he has been thinking this since they went to the keys in the very beginning of June. He said he thought she was what he wanted but he could not see that she wasn't until she was out of his life. He said it took him getting his own place and getting away from that situation in it's entirety to realize what he was doing and had lost. He said he went from trying to win her back to talking with a counselor at one session that opened his eyes to the fact that she wasn't what he was fighting for. He said from that day forward (almost 2 weeks ago) he realized that she just filled the void and helped him escape our issues instead of dealing wth them. He said he realized he should be fighting for me instead of against me. I could see some softening the week or so before we went to dinner. Offering to take care of house stuff etc. except at this point I was consumed in attention from OM
Do I think OM is long term? 99% not. He is fantasy and escape from reality for me. He is a feel good that I don't want to let go of. I know that's stupid but it's the truth. I know I need to let go. I'm working on it. Declined hanging out last night and haven't responded today. His parents are going through a divorce after 35 years of marriage so we talk a lot about family and stuff. It's more of a friendship/companionship than romantic relationship.
And it bothers me he wanted to stay at his job unless I committed to fixing things. He said I can't quit there because of the money if we aren't going to work things out I can't afford to take another pay cut. Since dinner this last week he does realize the influence. We talk about it quite a bit. He sent me a text yesterday saying I can't wait to get out of this place. I can't believe I never saw what you saw for the last couple years. I can't believe I thought they were my friends. This place is just hell. My boss told me just to give it time and hopefully his daughter and I can work it out. He said once he said that it hit me like a ton of bricks as to what I've done and what you saw that I couldn't see and I'm sorry.
We haven't said anything to anyone until he starts his new job. He needs to make sure to get all of his tools (thousands and thousands of dollars) out of there and his vehicles. He buys and sells on the side so he's acquired a few new cars that are at the shop. He wants to bring them to my house. He offered to move back in and sleep on the couch so I can quit my second job. It's tempting!
About the money he is or was hiding. He did send me a text yesterday asking 'if this all works out can we agree to just have one bank account so there is transparency between us and you know I'm not hiding anything from you?' He also offered to cancel his phone line and get back on my plan along with getting a new phone number.
