These last few days have been very different than anything I could've imagined. I have been following the rules as close as possible but there have been moments where I have mentioned how much I care still. The depressed emotions that WAW has shown since being assaulted are so visible. I see how detachment helps as I know I cannot fix the situation, and this is all part of the journey that she chose when she left. If anything these last few days, have shown her that I honestly feel as though the changes I have made would have to make her a fool to leave, if she continued to push away.
I am in no way pursuing a relationship right now, but trying to provide comfort and show love in the way that she allows me to show it. This morning when she came to pick up my kids, we talked for about 30 mins. Validated her feelings like crazy and she even was relaxed enough to allow me to hold her hand as I comforted her.
She seems very numb and I cannot imagine what she is thinking as she processes the incidents. I will say that I have made it such a point to listen to her rather than talk and validate so that she knew I was listening. It's funny how God works in these moments. I feel so much growth in me and it excites me. In many ways, I see the strength I'm able to provide her now, vs. before when I'd have a tendency to make it about myself.
