The W and I met to plan the fall schedule and any kids activities. First half went well, we hammered out logistics. Then I asked how she was planning on getting kids to and from school, as she will be working full time almost. She suggested that she is planning on using the nanny. Calling her a shared family resource. I asked if she would be paying for the use of the nanny. This created a big financial discussion, which gravitated towards spousal support and fairness etc. mistake on my part to ask?
I then brought up the issue of the phone. I suggested myself first and said she was free to do as she pleased. I then mentioned that I want to keep the kids as stable as possible, and I mentioned that I would hope anyone they are introduced to would be serious. This was a mistake on my part. She then began down a road regarding controlling behaviour, how I demeaned and insulted her parenting, by even suggesting she would do something like that.
I reiterated that it was about the kids and she was free to do as she pleased, I just hoped we could both keep their best interests at heart. She started to talk about finances and spousal support etc. again. I believe from what she is saying, that she thinks she will get more money than she actually will, as I have done the numbers.
Either way, she is having lots of anxiety and fear about money, start of work, and her schedule. I feel I may have erred on the kids and OM comment. I get that I don't and can't control what she does with respect to the OM and my kids. Perhaps, and this is mind reading here, it touched a nerve, as I know OM has no interest in meeting the kids. Who knows. Keeping on the mind reading thread, I feel like my W wants the lifestyle she is accustomed too, but no part of a M with me. Hence her anxiety about money. She is also very scared of court. I told her my intention is not to vilify and destroy the M of my children, however, she does not believe me.
I am going to go even darker here. I asked her to please not come to the house and remove things when I am not here, to which she said she will come to the house until she is bought out. I just asked her to respect my space as I respect hers. This darkness which I have been doing, is actually, for me. I function much better with less interaction with her right now. She is so reactive that conversation is moot anyways. Constructive conversation.
I just STFU to the text barrage I received last night. No point in responding as nothing was urgent.
The journey continues. Keep my head up and focus on what I can truly control. Me.
