Not much to add as of late, things between W and I have been "ok" .... the exchanges are pleasant (positives)I called S last night as I was leaving my softball game (GAL'ing) and headed out with the team after ... she asked how my game went and I told her I got hit in the head after losing a ball in the sun .... she has been more relaxed lately but I just feel like when we do talk its about S and little else ... I just wish we could start connecting .. when she is like this its like her and OM are together again and I am cast out ... I haven't pressed, nor do I know if this is the case ... I just guess its a big dose of the loneliness that I constantly struggle with, I want my wife and family back .. .but know this will all take time. I have been DBing and not pursuing but its so hard to remain hopeful and patient .... but at least we are not fighting and there seems to not be much talk of the D ... so I will take it.
I went out this week and took my motorcycle test, passed and now have my M1 license .. something I've always wanted to do ... I am on the fence about buying the bike, I want to do it for me, I never spoil myself .. ever... and just feel like this would help me in the GAL dept, getting out and riding with new people .. doing my own thing ... but I know if W finds out she will be pissed. She will see it as money I should be giving her or spending on school .... something else I am pursuing, just emailed my contact to see if I can start taking courses in October... its expensive but I should have the money ... depending on how bad I am going to get screwed over with the taxes ... more on that when I know .. but it sounds bad according to what the W said our tax guy said.
I am going to try today not to think about her much .. and to just go dark... I have not done well in that area and need to improve.
