Wife walked aways (two months ago now) new thread

[BigMac]

Update after 2 days with the WAW.

I am on my best behavior, being calm and kind. This is the first time she has seen me for any length of time in months.

I did slip while driving with her and talk about R. She says how happy she is, and how low stress her life is (I have had the kids, every bill, etc. She has her new job which is pretty stressful and her OM).

I am being kind and compassionate, and we are teaming up to move stuff.

We got into a bit of R talk, and she basically said she hasn't talked to me at all this summer and is so happy. I know they say to not listen to anything she says, and 50% of what she does. But it still hurts to hear that she isn't interested in even thinking of me, or working on anything (when she first left, we were supposed to start therapy 30 days after a break... then OM came...)

So, here I am. I gave everything up for her and the kids. I am trying to hold it together... Luckily I know to walk outside if I am feeling emotional, phone a friend, etc.

A couple interesting things though

1. Last night she fell asleep in our bed for a time (after saying that she was going to sleep in D16's room). She did wake up around midnight and move into her room which woke me up. I got up and told her sweet dreams.

2. This morning I told W that I was going to the local breakfast place, and that she could come if she wanted. She agreed, and we had good conversation. An interesting thing that I noticed as I was walking out - She had already had a bowl of cereal. I think she went for my company .

3. We are having to have conversations around division of stuff. I am being pretty cool about letting her take whatever she wants. The area's that there were conflicts around we were able to agree to share, or let the other borrow.

I like this new interaction, where we are being kind to each other. I wish we would have been like this before the split.

Also, the conversation came up about her going cold turkey on Antidepressants and ADHD meds 2 weeks into school. This event triggered a breakdown for me, as she completely changed. I had no clue what happened. I did tell her that I wish I would have known. I would have had more empathy.

She blames me for having to take Antidepressants, she may be right.

Either way, each day is a new day. I'm afraid that her new life is so great that with me in the same town, along with the kids there that I am going to get the blame for everything getting stressful again. But, all we can do is live in the present.

On a positive note, I got a call from one of the leaders at work. I had been really worried that my absence from work was going to affect my career (it did affect one promotion already). Apparently though someone higher (I'm actually starting to get my faith back again) is looking out for me.

It looks like I may be chairing a committee at work for a massive transition. This is a huge thing for me, and while not an immediate promotion, it provides the opportunity to transform engineering across a 23,000 person company. Before some of my life changes from this horrible separation I don't think I would have been mentally ready.

I'm not perfectly sure I am ready right now. But I am working in the right direction.

Fingers crossed that the WAW doesn't do anything crazy after the move. I'm worried that it will take me down.