H's MLC #3

[GoatGal]

2BHappy/Matt,

I did the same.

I wore my ring, even told H that as far as I was concerned, I was still married.

Then after he served me, I replaced it with another ring, for a new chapter. It was supposed to fit on my ring finger but I'd lost so much weight.
I told him at the time that I wanted to wear something because not wearing anything "gave people the wrong idea." (Mainly, MEN.)

So I substituted the silver wedding band he and I got before we were married, (but were engaged) on a vacation in NM.

I wore this for quite some time, but after so many months of looking at his naked hand, his ring supposedly thrown in his desk drawer at work, I just took it off.
It no longer felt "right".

I loved wearing it before, it was a coat of armor against unwanted attention.
Now that armor is gone, and I'm not ready...

I felt too that wearing it was like pursuit, holding on--not letting him go.
I had to take it off to say "You're free. And so am I."

Not that I really feel like that, but I needed to make that statement to him.

I think after everything, it was HE who wanted to "Move on" that he wanted ME to "Let go"... but I don't think it was ever in his plan that I would "move on" as well.


*Sigh*


Sorry for the highjack.

Funny--- I notice wedding bands all the time now... and it's a bit of a trigger to see a man wearing one.
I think to myself:" Wow. There's a man who publicly declares his commitment to his wife, something my H can't do for me."

And then I think of something else.
Like Cappuccino.


Hang in there,

---GGG