M: 42 H: 43 M: 8 years S7 and D4 H has D19 and S25 from previous M Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA 1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail 2nd separation: 5/1/14
Operation zucchini bread - check Operation zucchini brownies - check Operation ice hockey game - check
My next mission....Operation yard work!
I know, not very sexy or glamorous. But, I think some team work around the house could be good for us. The house has overwhelmed me and I've taken that stress out on H in the past. If I could show off "hey, we've got this and I'm not going to freak and get overwhelmed anymore" I think that might be really good for not just him but me too. Being more of a team and getting things done around here together is something I want more of in our M. Thoughts?
M: 42 H: 43 M: 8 years S7 and D4 H has D19 and S25 from previous M Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA 1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail 2nd separation: 5/1/14
Next hockey game you go, you would want to be sure to hang out at the rink after the game. I remember after playing softball games, we'd all go out for pizza and beer.
I would hold off on the operation yard work for the following reasons:
1) H isn't back at the house 2) Yard work is hard & sweaty work...not a light, breezy, or fun activity at all 3) It will not build a positive memory of you and your interactions
The focus is on re-attracting H with light and breezy things/activities. For these activities/actions to work, you need to plant positive and happy memories in H's mind about you. Positive memories equates positive feelings about YOU.
Next hockey game you go, you would want to be sure to hang out at the rink after the game. I remember after playing softball games, we'd all go out for pizza and beer.
In my neck of the woods, if you tell someone you play in a softball league, they'll ask "Beer league, or church league?"
Next hockey game you go, you would want to be sure to hang out at the rink after the game. I remember after playing softball games, we'd all go out for pizza and beer.
In my neck of the woods, if you tell someone you play in a softball league, they'll ask "Beer league, or church league?"
H dropped off kids tonight and hung around a bit to show me how to use the electric saw and weed whacker. I am kid free this weekend and have big yard work plans He offered to come tomorrow night and mow the lawn (assuming he doesn't have another hockey game, which me might). I gladly took him up on it, I know how to do it but it's not something I particularly enjoy.
Nothing else new to report. I feel decent emotionally but really tired all the time. I think it's the ADs. I am supposed to check in with my doc in a few days, curious to find out if this is a permanent side effect. That would kind of be a pain.
Last edited by mdu; 08/20/1410:46 PM.
M: 42 H: 43 M: 8 years S7 and D4 H has D19 and S25 from previous M Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA 1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail 2nd separation: 5/1/14
H came to pick up the kids this am and D4 was still sleeping. I had to get to work so I told him to take his time at the house, let her sleep and get her up and ready whenever he was ready to go. Tonight he is coming by to drop off the kids and mow the lawn. Yesterday he took the kids to the beach then gave them showers at the house so I wouldn't have to deal with it.
It's like he's got a couple of toes back in the family. Not sure if this is good or bad, if I should encourage or discourage this behavior. Right now I'm just going with it.
I'm getting a little anxious about school starting after labor day. D4 is starting kindergarten and I'm not psyched about her having to adjust to that and continuing this back and forth to FIL's house with H. Same with S7, who struggles with doing HW and I also fear the shuffling around will not be good for him. The thought crossed my mind that perhaps H and I should arrange an in house separation just to keep the kids in one place but since we're not firmly on a reconciliation path I'm thinking that's probably not a good idea.
M: 42 H: 43 M: 8 years S7 and D4 H has D19 and S25 from previous M Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA 1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail 2nd separation: 5/1/14
There you go, getting ahead of yourself again, mdu. Every, single time H starts to nibble, you want to pull the line.
Slowwwwwwwwwwww and steady.
My two cents: Let an in-home S be your H's idea, just like you gave him the opportunity to offer to help with mowing instead of asking for his help. Your H has it in him to initiate movement toward you and the family. Clearly. Let him drive that ship.
The kids will be fine, no matter what, because they have two parents who adore them.
Just enjoy these moments when things look up with H and continue your GAL. THAT is the golden ticket.
M: 40 H: 44 Married 14 years S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M 2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart Piecing: April 2014
M: 42 H: 43 M: 8 years S7 and D4 H has D19 and S25 from previous M Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA 1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail 2nd separation: 5/1/14
He offered to come tomorrow night and mow the lawn (assuming he doesn't have another hockey game, which me might). I gladly took him up on it, I know how to do it but it's not something I particularly enjoy.