All she has ever said is "I don't want this, you are my H and the father of children" and that she "is trying to change her feelings and she would if she could." But that is not someone committed to our M.
The problem with all of that is, there's a physiological component to this that is very real, Sho. If she's still in contact with OM (even if it's some sort of "let's step back and cool things off, I need to try to work on my marriage as I have too much invested here" period), her brain is going to be awash in endorphines (PEAs) that will actually chemically BLOCK her from changing her feelings towards you!
Chemically, you won't stand a chance.
THAT is why I'm such a nazi about no-contact and transparency. Affairs are HIGHLY addictive; it's what made an otherwise sane, intelligent adult female NASA astronaut drive across country wearing an adult diaper, so she wouldn't have to stop and take bathroom breaks, as she drove to Florida to avenge her man and confront the other woman!
It's what makes highly successful men and women throw their careers -- and even their families -- away, when it otherwise makes NO sense whatsoever.
It's what causes previously responsible spouses to drain family savings accounts, and run up tens of thousands of credit card debt on their affairs.
It's REAL.
The no-contact, and the DECISION to work on the marriage with you is SO she can open herself up to her feelings for you to return. ANY continued contact with OM -- even NEGATIVE contact, if you can imagine -- sets her withdrawal "clock" back to 0:00:00.
Do some basic research by Google'ing "PEA love lust brain addiction" and learn more about this. The pull is INTENSE.
