Hi pbetra, nice to hear from you! And thanks to everyone who posted. I really do think you are all right on the money with my having to nip this in the budd right here, right now. Last night my D14 comes to me and says that she thinks she should go back to her mom's house on Friday instead of Sunday to get ready for school that starts on Monday. I don't understand what she thinks she can get done there that she can't get done here. I ask her and she just says that she has to be in school on Monday and wants to have which clothes she is going to wear and all her school stuff ready ect. I tell her that if she does that it will be even longer until I get to see her again. I than just outright asked her "Do you want to just live with your mom during school?". She got a little upset and said no, she just wants to make sure all goes well her first couple weeks. I know that my W has been manipulating her to want to stay with her because W was so afraid (she says but you know about believing what MLCers SAY!) that D14 will hate her because w was the one who wanted the D (I know that since her father has come back in her life she is now saying that the reason she didn't have a R with him was not because he did the awful things he did which she now doesn't seem to remember but because her mother "made" her hate him). I know that she has been telling D14 that she can sleep later when she lives with her, that all her new friends will be there, that she lied to my D and told her that if she went to a different school closer to me, that she would have to get up an hour earlier which just isn't true! My W was so worried I would manipulate my D but now I'm the one NOT manipulating her! So, later my D come to me and says she would like to get her hair cut, needs contacts and wants to go to Marshalls since she has a gift card from there to get some new clothes for school. Now, the problem is if she leaves Friday, we just don't have time to do all that. I tell her this and she says well, I guess I'll have to get mom to do it. Umm...could it be that she is learning to play her mom and me against each other to get what she wants? She also knows that while I'm not able to spend much money her mom makes $8,000 a month and can afford a lot more than me (although you would never know it from how W acts like she is penniless!). So I end up telling my D that I'll take Thursday off from work and we can get her hair cut, go to Marshalls and at least see how much her contacts are. Maybe this way she won't think that if she doesn't stay with her mom I can at least help her out somewhat!
On a good note (I really need some good things right about now!) my D19 called last night and invited me to come to her place (lives with her BF for now) for dinner. She said that she doesn't have any hours at work for the rest of the week and misses me but can't afford the gas to drive here. I told her that her sister is here and she could come too and she was all for that. So, on Thursday D14 and I will go and get her ready for school and then go have dinner with her sister. That is a good day I think.
I am going to either text my W about D14 wanting to come back on Friday and add something about her needing to let me know ahead of time if she wants to change custody arrangements or tell her in person when I drop my D off at her place. The more I think about it the more Shi!!y I think it was to just do it and not have the decency to even send a text to just let me know! But then again, she hasn't acted like a "decent" person in a long time! For the first time in awhile I am back to thinking that I want my W to just fail, to find out just what a mistake she is making (has already made, really) and to fall flat on her face. I had been at the point where I was saying every day "I hope my W finds the happiness she so wants" to try and help me relax and detach. Now I'm back to being angry and thinking she needs to get what she deserves for destroying all we worked for for 21 years...no "joy", no "happiness", no satisfaction. Just loneliness, pain and an empty life! (Man, that sounds mean it's how I feel right now!)
