What to say? What to say? It’s been forever since I last posted… Forever since I thought there was any, and I do mean ANY chance to hope or dream there were any redeeming qualities between myself and my husband…. My “soon-to-be-ex”, if we want to be specific. For all you cronies still working at it via this forum… you may vaguely remember my sitch. For the rest of you, all the nasty details about how much I’d come to hate my relationship WITH my husband can be found in threads such as:
I’m sure there are more, as I am quite the disorganized SPAZ, however…
The short of the long of it is I AM A WALK AWAY WIFE. On my birthday last year… some 8 months ago, I asked my Husband to move out. And move out he did. He was incredibly angry and hurt and scared and shamed. His ego, the ground zero explosion site of this particular nuclear family.
Well. Much was done. Much was said. I even slept with a man on the brink of his own divorce and who’d decided to go back home. I entertained hope with an EOM and found that fizzled upon our first meeting in person. H has been an incredible @$$, yelling, blaming, threatening, begging, pleading this whole time, up until about three weeks ago. Imagine… 7 whole months of hate and fear and adrenalin. (Knowledgeispower was “out” 7 months, I remember, but I wonder if it was like THAT.) H’s family and our mutual friends have all but excommunicated me and ….
I AM ALONE….
I feel like, in the last three weeks, the emotional separation has begun and forgiveness has been given a little light, and a little room to grow.
It is bizarre, this place I stand. While I am still feeling I could never be intimate with a man who spit in my face and called my mother a whore, I am missing having a mate.
Wow... Its nice to see you back.. Its nice to see a WAW seeing a little lite.. My hope is my W can see the same..
Honesty, sincerity, tenderness and trust. A little less time for the rest of the world, And more for the two of us. Kisses each mornin, I love yous at night, Just like it used to be.
I remember yours posts a long time ago; sorry for all you have been through. Do you find you are missing your H, or missing what it feels like to have a mate? I think that is the question when so much has happened...and I think that time tends to help with that. If you are missing your H, I hope things work out with you. But I will say this...even in the most heartbreaking sitchs, we learn so much. I have never felt as complete as I do now, and it is all because I actually GREW through my hurt and soul searching. But it took a long time, and coming to appreciate the people that I can truly depend on. I could not on past R's. Maybe one day...
Hey My Lady Friend who is so lyrical with her words. I have missed ya!!!!
Was my sitch ever like yours??? Try years of H being verbal and almost physical at times.
Then I finally had enough.
You know the story.
I could use a vacation also.
And the part about your friend saying your laughter was geniune??? That's an important point. I think we do/did paint our sitches and past experinece with hazy colors. Forgetting the amazing fact that we survived in spite of all the crap.
This 7 month thing is rather strange, eh?
H and I were talking about D's counseling and how it is going. H's comment about our past R.......it wasn't so bad.
I'm so sick of bringing up the past. Course D needs to deal with it, so we are now in counseling together. Me & my beautiful 13 yr old. Please do I have to hear about how H cheated on me 2 in our marriage and was emotionally absuvive??
Seeing it through her eyes is horrific.
So lady no matter what, be glad that you are taking care of this now while little Z is still young.
Wish I would have left years ago.............
Sorry to hijack your space
Do not worry about feeling lonely it will pass
As to the family R's don't sweat them
I totally understand.
Kim, AKA KIP
Oh yeah
Welcome Back
"Those who don't read, have no
advantage over those who can't"
Mark Twain
hi-YA !!!
