I was talking with an old old friend last night on the phone and telling him how when we all shared a home some 10 years ago...

how very depressed i was then....

suicidal, even, god forbid...


and he told me, "Rachel, your laughter was genuine"


and it made me think about the other things i'd clouded over throughout these years...


i have, no doubt, endured MUCH love-lazyness...


i dunno kevinlost... I may find my way back into love with my husband...

i can't tell him, because my aloneness, this time in which i learn these things, would end...


we must just have faith, no?