There are still some "greatest common denominator" -type stuff you can do though.
Stay positive and upbeat, without being annoyingly so.
Focus on being a great dad in front of her (I know you do this anyway, even when she's not around).
Be cordial, polite.
Be a great conversationalist (especially letting her observe you being that with someone else, say someone you meet on the vacation). Don't PURSUE conversations with your wife (and certainly no R talks!!), but when SHE initiates them, be a great listener. Validate, even if you don't agree.
NO FOOT RUBS!!
It's just hard to get more specific than that, because you're either being played or she's genuinely ended things and made a move back to the marriage. And "x 10" all of that ^^^ when you have the "she knows that you know" (even if she denies it) dynamic going on, because then you've got her thinking "Wow, Sho believes ________, but yet he's still doing ________ for me. That's pretty weak."
This is why I believe in good intel so much, and get in trouble with the whole "no snooping!" thing. What do airline pilots do when they're in the midst of the fog? THEY USE THEIR INSTRUMENTS!!!
