What to say? What to say? It’s been forever since I last posted… Forever since I thought there was any, and I do mean ANY chance to hope or dream there were any redeeming qualities between myself and my husband…. My “soon-to-be-ex”, if we want to be specific. For all you cronies still working at it via this forum… you may vaguely remember my sitch. For the rest of you, all the nasty details about how much I’d come to hate my relationship WITH my husband can be found in threads such as:
I’m sure there are more, as I am quite the disorganized SPAZ, however…
The short of the long of it is I AM A WALK AWAY WIFE. On my birthday last year… some 8 months ago, I asked my Husband to move out. And move out he did. He was incredibly angry and hurt and scared and shamed. His ego, the ground zero explosion site of this particular nuclear family.
Well. Much was done. Much was said. I even slept with a man on the brink of his own divorce and who’d decided to go back home. I entertained hope with an EOM and found that fizzled upon our first meeting in person. H has been an incredible @$$, yelling, blaming, threatening, begging, pleading this whole time, up until about three weeks ago. Imagine… 7 whole months of hate and fear and adrenalin. (Knowledgeispower was “out” 7 months, I remember, but I wonder if it was like THAT.) H’s family and our mutual friends have all but excommunicated me and ….
I AM ALONE….
I feel like, in the last three weeks, the emotional separation has begun and forgiveness has been given a little light, and a little room to grow.
It is bizarre, this place I stand. While I am still feeling I could never be intimate with a man who spit in my face and called my mother a whore, I am missing having a mate.
