H is out of the house

[twinmom]

I registered for the ADA walk, H asked me yesterday when he came over if I was doing the walk this year and I said yes. He then asked if he could join us (me and the kids)

I told him I don't know how I feel about that as there will be lots of people there from Walgreens and I was planning on avoiding the Walgreens tent/booth. I just don't want to put on a "happy family" show in front of his co-workers.

He told me he completely understands and if I decided it would be ok for him to join us he wouldn't "network" while we were there, it would just be the walk and that's it. I told him to let me think about it.

For the past few days I have been talking to H more, just listening to what he has to say and using the "that's a lot to think about or it's not really that simple anymore" lines. He is seeing his IC on a weekly basis and he wanted to talk with me about the goals they set but I said right now I don't want to know about that. I just want him to do what he needs to do to be a good father and a better person.

I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO tired! This no sleep thing is really crashing down on me hard. Thankful the boys went back to school yesterday but that means I have to have 5 kids up and out of the house by 7am..... ROUGH!

Court date coming up.... I don't know how I feel about this. H has said numerous times he doesn't want a divorce and doesn't want to go to court.... don't know if I should delay it again or go through as planned.