Sorry ats, I was writing my last post while your next ones were being written! Oh, my, reading your journal! The nail in the coffin of my M came when my W read something on another blog. She didn't tell me until 2 months later! She said that I must have been the person who wrote the one post she read but of course, it could have been someone responding to a post I had written. I asked what it said that got her so upset? She said I said things that I NEVER wrote in any post! She got so upset saying I was "lying" about it her to other people. When I pointed out that even if I had written that post (which I don't think I did), no one knows who she is (or I am for that matter)! It didn't matter what I said, she had made up her mind that I thought "bad" things about her and that I lied about her, etc.
It really doesn't matter what you wrote in that journal. He wanted to find something bad, something that justifies his actions and choices. He had no right to read it but as an MLCer is want to do, the rules don't apply to them! I'm so sorry to hear about you finding OW. You knew about in your heart already, ats, it really isn't news. I wish I knew what you should do from here but I can't tell you. My W used what she thought I said about her to tell herself she was right that I thought badly of her and never really came back from it. That was when she took off her ring and never slept in our bed with me again. Of course it wasn't my fault that she chose to read something like that nor how she took it. All it was was a way for her to justify what she wanted to do and because I wasn't giving her a reason to run (I was DBing my butt off at the time) she couldn't use my real actions, she finally found something she could point to and say "I KNEW he felt I was a "bad W""!
Stay strong. It's not over yet. Keep DBing for yourself and your kids. No matter what happens, you will make it through this!
