I'm so sorry to hear about your rough day. No 2x4's... you are human. Every time my D is difficult, I mutter "I hate you H" under my breath.
Something you wrote really stood out to me: "It must be exhausting for her to freak out like that."
I think this is really key. As hard as it is for us (and it is HARD)... our kids are resilient, but also fragile and far less equipped to deal with the transitions and upheavals. I've found that when my D has a doozy meltdown (pretty frequently), I remind myself that if she could handle it better, she would. I'm sure she doesn't enjoy writhing on the floor screaming her head off. But, she is a child. Vent away, because boy do they know how to push our buttons. But also try to DB your D! Validate, set boundaries, etc. etc.
(And, for the record, I teach 11 year olds.. they are eerily similar to pre-schoolers. I would not discount the effects of the physical and hormonal changes on their emotional state and ability to handle stress!!!)
Lots of hugs. Hope tomorrow is a better day for you.
