Oh wow - I seem to have missed the bit about him not even following up. That's just...well, I dunno what that is, but it's at least a few different kinds of not cool. There's a lot of selfishness and self-focus going on there.
I don't know much about what's good for kids to see and what's not, but I wonder if it's not a bad thing for them to see you upset because it highlights how much they matter to you and how high your standards are for them and how they're treated. On top of that, like Ss06 said, it shows strength in the face of adversity and how to be a strong, capable, together person even when things aren't going the way that you want them to.
These things are pretty awful for you to have to deal with on their own, but after things were feeling like they were moving forward I imagine that this has been even more of a letdown and a disappointment. But perhaps this can be a way of getting back to the place that you want to be in terms of feeling more liberated. You're the one who behaved appropriately, took care of your kids when they needed you, and showed them a good role model. You're the one with the power and the strength and as much as it isn't fun you're doing amazing without him!
M - 34 H - 36 Together 10 years Married 4 years BD - March, 2014
