Mr. Bond it is my wife who has been married twice. I'm her third husband.
My wife is my first and only love. I was a virgin when I met her.
I shouldn't have posted last night. I was hurt and angry because I wanted to see my dog.
Sandy, maybe I am the walk-away spouse.
I don't know how all of you are able to move past your hurt and get on with your marriage. I can't do it.
I moved out because my wife is emotionally abusive. She yells and calls me names.
She has apologized on several occasions. So she takes responsibility for her actions.
In March 2013, my wife went through all of my "grievances" with her. I really felt heard. She apologized for everything she did that hurt me. I promised I could put the hurt behind me. We also worked on an action plan for her behavior.
But she didn't stick to the action plan. She was supposed to control her temper.
Here's my problem: When we get in a fight and she yells at me I go emotionally back to the same place I was at when I moved out in June 2013.
I can't explain it. The forgiveness is wiped out.
When she yells she adds a fresh cut to an old wound and I need her to start the apology cycle all over again. If she doesn't I can't get over it.
I think the last straw for her happened when she was yelling and I said, "See I knew you couldn't do it."
Her response?
She exploded. She didn't take a step back and examine her behavior.
To the contrary. She got louder. I can't remember the last conversation we had that wasn't a high volume.
I hate yelling.
I didn't used to hate it so much. But I really despise it now. In fact I despise it more this year than I did last year. I despise it more this month than I did last month.
She's right. It is the biggest thing in our marriage. It's almost become a phobia. And she won't stop.
It's ruined our marriage. It's ruined my health. It affects my job. It's destroyed our finances.
She doesn't have to yell at me.
If she would promise never to yell again I would move home and we could stay married. She is ruining our lives because she insists on yelling.
I've moved out. I've filed a legal separation. I'm dividing the property. And at the rate we are going we will end up divorced.
Yet she still hangs on to her right to yell at me.
Why? Why is yelling and name calling so important to her?
If I refused to move home until she stopped hitting me no one would have a problem with it.
