Mighty - your 2 posts from yesterday -- I could have written much of them myself. However, there is no baby on the way in my sitch, at least not one that I KNOW of! (I would NOT be surprised if there was.) Very similar though - H wants to be friends, and all that. We're just starting mediation now, after a year of separation. You seem to be doing extremely well. Keep up your good attitude.
I loved your post on GeorgiaBelle's thread, about taking our spouses for granted -- because WE were in it for the long haul, we also, naturally, expected our spouses to be in it 'til death do us part.' Truly - it made my day. Heck, it made my week. My counselor has never even said such a wise thing. THANK YOU.
Hey Live, I'm sorry your sitch is similar. It is no fun. I have had lots of downs. In fact, for months before I posted here, it was like I was in a coma. I was totally stagnant. I was hopeful and dbing, but not GAL, so much. A little, but it was just so hard to really move along. It took about 6 months to really get going. I was doing pretty well when I nuked. Since then... well, I don't know, but I have gained so much more strength and momentum, that I am recovering faster... I think. I don't know. Numbness is wearing off... we will see.
Really though, I just think about where h is and I don't want that. Hww is with a very broken person. Maybe he is giving her his best now, but there is only so much of that to give. He has a lot of hurt an anger. If she can help with that, so be it. But I don't see it. What I see is two very selfish people who will probably eat each other alive. Maybe not. Maybe I have these thoughts for self-preservation. Who knows?
But what I do know is that he did not give his best to me. Soooo... it is easier now to tell myself to move along. Why would I want someone who would want to treat someone like hww better than me?
Again, I'm sorry you find similarities in my sitch. It stinks to think we gave so much to someone who couldn't do the same in return. I would have gone to the end of the earth to fix anything in my m. If I felt a problem, I would have done so much to fix it. It would have been a cold day before my option would be to walk out or give up. How can you give up before you even put forth effort? Don't give it to someone else, for crying out loud!
Maybe that's where I was the biggest fool. I would have been surprised to hear of ow OR OW pregnant! I was in such MAJOR denial. Whew... sucker! Yup, that's me.... NEVER AGAIN!
Keep your head up, Live. Find the things to help you through. I think about who he is now and how I don't want anything to do with that person. It totally helps with detachment. I also think about the things he did to me months ago... all the bd's, big and small. The text message saying he was pursuing d. Walking away from me in public like he didn't know me. Lying while spending the night with OW. I never want to feel that again. The second I think of these things (among many more) I get a sick feeling and know I never want to go back to that. This helps me detach and move forward. I do get pulled back with the good memories, the thoughts of him giving someone else what he should have given me... blah, blah, you know. But, when you hear it gets easier, it really does. Trust me, there are moments, many of them, which will test you and are very tough, but each time you feel stronger. It takes less time to get over, and you remember what makes you feel better.
I'm glad I wrote something that helped you earlier. I always feel like I am rambling on with some BS. I do it because I can get it out. Some may wonder why I continue to post, but I do it because it is helpful to me, and because I couldn't find a sitch so much like mine. Maybe someday someone can relate and get something out of it. I'm glad you did. Haha... maybe people will get something out of it by saying, wow, that chick is crazy... do exactly the OPPOSITE!
