Maybell - I'm sending lots of hugs. You have a lot to deal with, and it's just not right that you have to deal with all of this alone. No one could blame you for losing it with him, or for feeling like you're starting to hate him and might never want to reconcile. And although it's not DB, I think sometimes it's important to let people know how we really feel, particularly when it's harmful not only to us, but also to children, who are the very people our spouses are supposed to be caring for and protecting.
Why would you want to work on a relationship with someone who only does what's convenient for him, what feeds into his happiness, and who won't step up when it counts?
I'm so sorry that you feel cheated. I think it's a sentiment that's pretty widely shared around here, particularly when talking about walk away spouses who aren't even doing the bare minimum in terms of taking on adult responsibilities and leaving their left behind spouses to manage everything, and especially the not fun stuff. It sounds to me like you've been hauling the freight for a long time now and that's just not fair.
I wish I had some amazing suggestions for you in terms of what to do next, but I'm just as lost and don't even have experience with kids to draw on. But here's the general advice that I always seem to get when things seem awful. Try to be gentle on yourself. Make sure that you eat. Take care of you. Get some sleep. Things are likely to look a good deal better in the morning. And please don't be hard on yourself for reacting like you did. This is a lousy situation, and your H. is out of line and not living up to his responsibilities.
M - 34 H - 36 Together 10 years Married 4 years BD - March, 2014
