KGirl - 7 months later...

[KGirl]

GB - yes, it seems he's OK w/ initiating conversation but feels threatened if I ask anything about him. It fits with one of the reasons he said was behind DB - that I questioned him too much and wanted to know everything he was doing. I'm not sure I agree with him 100% on that but I think there's a balance we can find between "Sure, you don't have to tell me anything about where you go after work!" and "Who were you with? What'd you drink? Where'd you go? Who did you talk to? What exactly did you eat?" etc.

I responded with "OK, interesting" just so I wasn't completely ignoring him, in hopes of keeping that road paved and smoothed. Which led to this fascinating text exchange:

H: Yes, very interesting. Also, not sure if you still make buffalo chicken chili but I had the brilliant idea of using baby carros, as they were easier to peel and cheaper, instead of regular carrots.

Me: Makes sense. I thought you didn't like the texture of baby carrots so I never bought them [side note - I definitely remember standing in the store with him years ago looking at carrots and him saying he would not eat baby carrots!]

H: Um,I'm pretty sure whenI brought some baby carrots from my mom you said you wouldn't eat them because you didn't like them? O_o. I don't like to eat them plain persay, but it isn't like I wouldn't. I didn't think you liked them at all.

Me: No I don't like them plain either. But in stew and stuff they'd be fine.

H: That makes sense then. I think we usually just didn't get them because there was a deal to buy regular carrots and then we had to use them.

Me: Guess we learned something new today - we both eat them!


I know I didn't need to con't conversing with him and could have just left it. Figured it didn't hurt. But holy jeez, here we are on the brink of divorce and the only convos we are having are about pasta and baby carrots. If I could find that thread of outrageous things the WAS/MLCers say this would be on there for sure. Hope it entertains you all

Today I was walking into work and everything was beautiful - sun was shining, grass was green after a storm last night, perfect temperature. It called to mind a quote I read from an elephant journal article that I re-read regularly (search "why you don't have the balls to be happy"):
"If you would slow down and appreciate what you have daily, happiness might just poke her head out from behind your back and say: hey, here I am. If you would count what you’re grateful for on your fingers and toes every single morning and every single night, you might start to sense what happiness tastes like. When you realize that the fact the sky is blue, the sun rises everyday, and the beat of your pet’s heart are all miraculous, happiness might just start to let you catch her scent."

And that is exactly how I felt this morning - I totally got it. And it also made me think about H's sister saying he's still struggling with finding happiness, and how I feel sorry for him in a way because he cannot appreciate these little everyday occurrences for what they are, and realize that happiness is not about finding this mythical best partner, but perhaps working with what you have and recognizing that there's value in your shared history and that you made that initial decision for some good reason. But that's on him, I guess.

I've done so many interesting and brave things this summer- I think I am making good progress! I went to Las Vegas and the state fair by myself, moved, adopted a cat, spent a weekend w/ friends at a waterpark resort, made the gym somewhat of a habit,and even visited car dealers to check out cars. Meanwhile H is not eating pasta and working on some supplement plan to "bulk up." Hmm. And getting excited about baby carrots because he doesn't have to peel them.