oh maybell, I'm SO sorry you had to deal with that alone. I can seriously empathize.
My D6 is more than a handful and part of my deep seeded resentment toward H is that he was never around to handle her SEVERE meltdowns over the last almost 7 years. He was always video-game-dad or Disneyland-dad but never homework-dad or chore-dad or meltdown-dad or up-at-2-am-because-she-can't-sleep-dad. Now that we're separated he is more present during the times he's with D meaning he's not obsessively on his laptop or phone while snapping at her. This is a GREAT thing and I'm happy for him and D because they are building a good relationship. OTOH, his absence has brought about a lot of anger in D and I get to clean up that mess every. damn. day.
I am impressed that you let him know you were upset by him not having to deal with her meltdown. It's not within the DB philosophy but my goodness, how would he know otherwise?! He needs to know what his destructive behavior is doing to EVERYONE.
Why do they get to walk away and leave any sense of responsibility behind for us to pick up on top of everything else we're dealing with as LBS. It's more angering than hurtful and so unfair for the children.
I hate this. I hate this for me and I hate it for you, too.
