My daughter has always been difficult, and I think it was a contributing factor in H checking out. She is also generally difficult this time of year. And starting middle school in a few days. And didn't want to talk to H but felt like she had to. And coping with "becoming a woman." And H checked out. They just spent a weekend with him and she said she doesn't like that he never prepares them meals, doesn't have their favorite foods, doesn't have produce in the house (she eats a TON of fruit), and doesn't have anything for them to do. And of course the fact that he's not here means that if I've been dealing with her being difficult, there is no one to parent her if I need to go off and calm down for a bit and it's MUCH harder to calm down when I'm so aware that he has an obligation to be here that he has decided to abandon.
My SAHD friend took the kids to lunch today so I could work with my brother on my resume. He's engaged and playful with his kids compared to my H, and that bleeds over in how he treats my kids as well. And another of my friends stayed home and spent a week redecorating his D11's bedroom as a surprise for her birthday while his wife had the kids at her mother's. My D saw the video of her friend reacting to her new room and said she wished H would do something like that for her. She said it again to him the other day and asked if he'd do that for her birthday and he didn't answer her. Stupid git didn't even make a space for her in his apartment, let alone do something loving and generous like that.
I don't know how there could possibly be a path back for us. He's never going to be a reliable partner to me.
I can't believe no one has scolded me for that text.
Last edited by Maybell; 08/20/1401:37 AM.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
