The Amoeba Whisperer: "It's All Dog Training!"

[GoatGal]

SO--CHECK OUT THIS FASCINATING UPDATE!!!!

Last night I sent GUBU a text--putting on my BGPs, and making an emotional bid. (Yes I'm reading Gottman.)

Me: "That wasn't easy to talk about, (the OW leaving, me needing help, "the future"), so I do appreciate your listening to what I had to say, and for being concerned about my welfare."

He sends: "Night"

Me: "And there is no one I'd want to help me more than you, so if you can, that would be my choice."
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That was all the communication until he got here this evening to do chores. I didn't see him, was busy inside.

H: After he left: "Hope you're OK"
H: "I may need you to cover tomorrow if Male Co-worker and I need to take the new (OW's position) candidate to dinner. I'll keep you posted."

(IMPRESSIVE!)
Giving me his plans and mentioning the "(ow's) position" that caused so much trouble last night.
He even mentioned the specific department, which he has avoided saying for six months now.
The Village: "Those about whom we do not speak"...Wow.

I was waiting to respond, then THIS:

H: "And BTW, since you are so concerned about my mental health, I have been seeing a guy for over a month...."


I KNEW IT!!! WONKA WAS RIGHT!!!
That was the mystery appointment that Friday.

I bet it WAS the special sexual behavior clinic. It all makes sense.
They refer patients out to specialists after the lengthy Friday evaluations.

Wow. I mean. WOW.
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I am not going to let myself go down the road where this "guy" might be advocating Viagra + Dating to fix the sexual "problem".

I'm just going to be happy!
I'll sure I'll get some more information later if I keep the lines open.

I stopped nagging him--and he DID IT ON HIS OWN.
And not for me. For HIMSELF. This is SO much better.

So all those weird MIAs were not "dates", they were therapy appointments!
I'm so glad I didn't get all bent out of shape about it and give him grief.

Again, this would have been good information to know, but for whatever reason, he wanted to keep it private.
I'm just glad he's done it.


Stinkin' Thinkin' indeed!!!! All that stressing for nothing.

I am really proud of him. There is a man in there somewhere.
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So I just texted back: (Trying to validate and make another emotional bid)

"I am OK, thanks."

"BTW, I am impressed that you decided to pursue that on your own...and even more that you shared it with me."


!!!!!! How was THAT??????

I am really proud of my performance last night. It wasn't perfect, but it was a far cry from what I would have been able to pull off a few months ago.

I created a safe environment for him to share, knowing that I was not going to blow up or go off.
I showed some emotion in my face, but was pretty darn under control.

Perhaps now he might feel safer to tell me more.
Time will tell.

BUT THIS IS BIG NEWS!

And yes, I know it could mean nothing for "me" or for "us" but it's a HUGE step for him, in the right direction, finally.
And the fact that he shared that with me is also huge.

GO ME!

Georgiabelle, I did land that triple toe leap sow-cow reverse split thingy on the ice. I think I did. Maybe a solid 8.5.

---GGG