WAW not admitting to affair #3

[shodan]

I have been on vaca with only the kids for a few days now. My W is joining us tomorrow (she has been working in NYC). The vaca has had its ups and downs...loving being with my kids but I also see a lot of happy families around me, which is tough.

I read the 5 LL and took the LL test. Turns out that my #1 LL is Quality Time. This explains some of my controlling behavior. As I think about it, I love spending time with my W, no matter what it is. My W loves quality time as well but also loves her independence. So when my W does not want to be with me, it really hurts my feelings. I think this hurt leads to anger, which causes me to want to control where she is and what she is doing. I know that I need to let it go, but because this is my #1 LL, letting go is very hard.

Re: detaching...I have done an ok job of it this week. I texted only in reply to her but did send her a few pics of the kids (on a text group with my MIL). But my W did text me to ask if I wanted her to pick up a new work bag for me while she is in NYC (I mentioned to her that I needed a new bag for work). But this also could just be her being nice to me.

Either way, I am having PMA and being the best dad that I can be. We have played a lot on the beach together, played a lot of whiffle ball and have eaten a ton of ice cream. Tomorrow night my W gets here.

Lots of love to everyone