Question- do I send an email tonight or not? And did I make the wrong decision?
Considerations: one 180 is to validate and put more emphasis on the needs of others.
Situation: we had an email exchange last week. She mentioned a difficult situation. My last reply was a little too warm, crossed the line from validating to becoming ''supportive". No contact since and she was withdrawn when I insisted the children Sunday. Can't mind read but pretty sure that was too close to pursuing.
Tonight she called me out of the blue (first call since BD) and asked if I could swing over and watch the children. Today is the 5 year anniversary since she had a miscarriage and she wanted to go to the cemetery. I was on the spot and don't know what to say. I do have plans tonight and was 40 minutes away going the wrong direction. But I could've cancelled my plans and my friend would have understood. In the heat of the moment I think I messed up again and told her I couldn't as I'd committed to plans. Not sure on that one.
Problem is that she said at DB I wasn't supportive enough of her through those tough times, but now she doesn't want my support.
So, do I email her as a 180? Or give her space as GAL/NC/no pursuing?
So lost and having one of those days where I feel like everything I do is horribly wrong and I can't win. Thoughts? Thanks!
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
See above post. I'm leaning towards no email. She already will feel I'm not supportive based on history, the fact I don't remember this date, and that I couldn't go over there to watch the kids. An email at this point seems like words, not actions, and will just signify how short I fall of supportive. All while trying to pursue and give support she doesn't want.
At least with no contact she can't blame it on me, she's the one that kicked me out and doesn't want me in her life.
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
