Wifes severe depression, MLC, and suicide attempt

[Lifes Twists]

This past week was another quiet week for me. I continue to clear the clutter from my life. I did another major project on the house. While the girls were with their mother over the weekend I sanded the hardwood floors on the first floor. What a huge project for one person to do alone. In the process of doing this I was able to clear out and throw out more stuff that is not relevant anymore. The floors look great and the space is much more open now that a lot of stuff is not returning.

On the wife front we finally have her signature on a parenting order. Took a lot of time but I will now have the majority of the responsibility for my youngest daughter. My middle daughter turned 18 today so neither she nor her older sister are part of the agreement. During this process I found it strange what she focused on and what she allowed through this time versus last years attempt. I suspect part of it is her lawyer looking out more for her rather than trying to make a name for themselves like her last attorney. I was surprised she agreed to go to coparent counseling with me. I don't know if it is her or her attorney that is making this happen. I try not to read anything into it, but being a glass half full kind of person I have some hope that she is changing some of her position.

Like most of you, I have my down days and want to give up. I have been trying to focus more on letting go. I focus on my kids and myself right now. I have to let go of worrying about her trying to kill herself again. I know I have no control at this point so cannot punish myself if it happens. I limit all contact right now to a minimal about the kids when I need to. Other than that I am dead silent right now. I don't even ask the kids how she is doing. I am afraid if they tell her I ask that she will still think I am pursuing her in some strange way.

I can't believe summer is almost over. My oldest moves into her dorm this Sunday. My youngest starts sophomore in high school next Wednesday.My middle daughter is going to work for the fall and I will move her down south into the school she is starting as a freshman for spring term. This Thursday I am having a 24 hour test. they are putting a tube of my nose and down to a spot in my esophagus to monitor the ph level. I then go home and try to be normal for the period and then return Friday to have the tube removed. I won't say it is going to be fun, but hope it leads to more improvements in my health.