Married now living seperatly

[FunDad]

After 18 years of marriage, my wife took our children and went to a rent house a week ago, one week after a hysterectomy. I'm hoping that after a while to heal her body, mind, and spirit, she will consider reconciling. For now however, I'm just devastated. We have had relationship problems in the past but it's nothing that can't be fixed. Yes, we did try extensive counseling until she stopped going recently. She's acting like a different person, and the friends she's relying on are not in favor of our marriage continuing. The others that want to see us reconcile, she has alienated.

So, in the mean time, I still support her financially. She gets a big chunk of my income and I guess that's doing good for her for now cause there are no lawyers involved. I'm not going to file first as I believe in not only our commitment to each other, but our commitment to God in marriage. She seems committed to her own happiness and I seem to be the stumbling block for her.

I'm not trying to pursue her anymore. I'm letting her have her freedom and space. Before she left I was being very tender and supportive, now I'm mostly business with her and not trying to make time to spend time with her. I help with kids, but I'm not trying to go out of my way to help her. This is really hard actually, but so is being constantly rejected. I have felt like an abused puppy at times and having some peace from that seems nice at times. Still, a huge hole has been ripped from my heart and sometimes I break down in tears of heart break. It's getting better with time however.

So, I've been reconnecting with old friends, family, and hobbys I've missed. Eating better. Exercising. Doing some things she would not approve of like picking up hitch hikers and going out of my way to help others.

I still hope we can put our family back together at some point, but she's going to have to take responsibility for her part in this and so far she just want to blame it 95% on me.

I miss my wife and our family, and do not enjoy the thought of two more broken homes.