Ok, so yesterday, the W was such a 180 from Sunday I was just in disbelief .... especially since I have been so careful to avoid the triggers that typically set her off ... she was at me untill the moment she walked into her therapist's office (first meeting for those trying to catch up) ..... I am actually happy she is finally doing this, it shows me she has started looking inward. I pretty much returned all the spew she fired off via TM with validation, positivity, and a few times going dark and just not replying. I realized her stress level was high as she is nervous about dealing with the fall out of what she has done, who she has become over the past year ... and she never has dealt with stress very well.
So S calls her at bedtime ... she was all happy go lucky .. even though I have read my share of the MLC thing .. I was still like .. Seriously? can the demon just leave you already?? I dropped S off this morning, I put on my DB combat gear and expected the worst. She opened the door and had a new black dress on ( My Krypto) and looked beautiful ... I told her she looked great gave my S a hug and went to leave.... she swoops in for a big hug and apologized (again big thing for her) ... she said she was sorry for being so wishy-washy ... I told her it was ok, I do understand .. and thank you for the apology as it meant alot. I asked her how her session went and she opened up and told me about it ... another + in the column. She said the therapist wants her every week ... (Very Good thing in my opinion) and she was going to do EMDR therapy ... (I need to read up on this ... not sure what it is, read just a blip and if anything seems to help with the negaitive thoughts ... that alone would be huge if W can let go of the bad memories she holds onto)
So I left, driving into work I was thinking ... goin gthere I was questioning my own sanity, how long and how much do we put up with this stuff before we just drop it, lose all hope and move on .... then a meaningful exchange like today happens... when I get a glimpse of the girl I loved, the one I married .... and it fills my tank just enough to stay on this MLC rollercoaster freeway for a little longer. Fingers crossed, baby steps ... and a PMA hoping for the best..... But I will keep the DB spew jacket and combat gear close by just in case ... lol
