Wife Declares She is a Lesbian

[essjay]

After 20 plus years of being together, the bomb my wife dropped was that she is now a Lesbian.
We have two daughters who still live with us; not aware of details of the situation at the moment; though i suspect they have an idea that something is wrong. The eldest is on the verge of leaving, buying a house with her boyfriend. Once that happens it will be the trigger for a forced sale of our home so that we can go our seperate ways.
We still share a bed , though have had no intimacy since that day. I love her and want to stand for the marriage but in these circumstance - How?
In fact some days she has barely spoken to me and is as cold as ice towards me.
I'm already convinced of an affair, though she doesn't admit it. She spends hours on an internet lesbian dating site. Gym every other day, lost a lot of weight.Lots of new feminine clothes that i would have loved to have seen her wear.
I'm reading Divorce Remedy now and am thinking MLC the changes in her have been so dramatic.
I'm following the advice from DR as best i can at the moment in the middle of this heartache for me.I know that i haven't been perfect - all the men in her life have been a dissappointment to her, was one of the hurtful things she said to me.
I'm so glad i found this site, been reading it for over a month now. - can anybody give me some advice regarding this situation please?
I remember seeing a post from Starsky regarding his experience how some wives come back to their husbands and family from this.
Are you around Starsky? Would love to hear from you..