afraid I have waited too long #4

[nit84]

Quick Update,

L's talked and W L said he was unwilling to consider refinance option without settling Retirement money also.

They have a "global settlement proposal" he is working on but can't promise it will be done before the end of the month in order to meet the deadline for my loan.

W L said he would talk to my W and get her feeling on the situation then get back to my L.

Extremely Frustrated at the moment because W and I live under the same roof but can't communicate. She has totally shut down unless she has to discuss her needs/wants with me. At that same time I explain to her what my desires are to move the process forward(trying not to stonewall) and get nothing but grief.

W has a number in her head that she wants/needs to walk away with. She isn't telling me. The shame of this is if I knew this number I might actually be able to agree with it and chalk this up as a "I gave my best effort" situation. Something is holding her back from completely being independent of me and I don't know what it is and don't care. If she would talk about it I would certainly listen but the communication is not and has not been there.

By no means am I giving up but even when I feel I am trying to fulfill my W desire to dissolve our M by doing things she has requested I get stopped in my tracks.

My W has seems to be surprised by things I am doing that she requested. This puzzles me a great deal.

Should I try to ask W if we can talk about One subject and one subject only? Then tell her the subject and ask her to explain why she feels as she does about this subject?

Not R issues but things that could move the process forward.

I would allow her an arbitrary time limit where I would do nothing but listen to what she says then I would agree to the same amount to give my feelings.

No trying to persuade W to understand and agree to my thoughts, just airing out both our feelings on a single topic to simplify things.

After the initial talk then we could ask questions of each to make sure we both understand each others side but again no "selling" of our ideas to one another.

Maybe this would open up the lines of communication a bit.

She knows D is not a solution for me and I know that D is what she wants. No need to bring that up while discussing other things.

I could really use some feedback on this and honestly other stuff from earlier in my threads.

I want to save my M still but feeling lost and losing site of that goal a bit. I think I need some help getting back on the DB track if it is even possible.

Thanks in advance!!