Ok, I TOTALLY could have read this wrong because I'm not there, and I only have a tiny little outsider's snapshot of your world.... BUT.... And I mean BIG BUTTTTTTT.....
I interpreted this part quite differently than I think you did:
Quote:
Him: "I just don't think you can do this alone either. You can't keep doing this alone." (Words to that effect.)
Is there any chance GUBU was waiting to be asked to come back and be the one to help?
Quote:
He has never been able to handle anything he perceives as "Criticism".
Any complaint, statement, or dissatisfaction he interprets as a major attack.
That's why his reaction seemed OH so familiar!
Is there any chance he could be a big bully who is really afraid of being rejected? Hence the inability to ASK TO COME BACK AND RISK REJECTION, or take criticism? These are some of the VERY COPING SKILLS THEY LACK that sent them into this MLC mess, right?
So, he won't ask because of the fear of rejection. He hints. But not very well, and old patterns and old assumptions cloud the simple words the way I read them without knowing either of you.
I'm probably way off.... But if he DID want to come back and be the one to help, what would that look like? How would he let you know? He didn't let you know OW was gone....right?
And OW.... MY GUESS, he didn't want to tell you because he would rather never talk about that again. To him, it wasn't a positive to tell you she's gone, because that would mean talking about THE VERY THING he doesn't want to bring up. Especially to you.
(Insert shame, guilt, insecurity, regret).
Being in MLC, and incapable of truly thinking about the LBS, he didn't tell you because HE couldn't face it. I doubt the thought of making you feel better (or worse for that matter) even crossed his mind. Because he isn't wired to do that now. He just can't.
I'm guessing that your tiny little body being worked to the bone is something of a drastic change because even he can't ignore that.
