I think that it's designed to make him feel less guilty and to 'comfort' you. Like, "don't think this is easy for me, not pretending I'm just fine, hope it helps you to know I truly do care and hope you have the strength to get through'. My ex said those same things to me.
The question is what is your best plan? You can either do the straight no contact, or you can try to go friend zone. I know true NC isn't possible with children, etc.
Talk to your DB coach for sure. In my case I was told being friendly was better for my WAS, but my sitch is different in many ways. Might turn out that letting him see what he's missing is best, and also gives you some time to learn who you are and set boundaries. Either way this is an important enough decision I would ONLY trust my DB coach on.
Stay strong. I don't know what the stats show as far as reconscilliation and know this can be frustrating, but it doesn't seem terrible that he has a lot of positive associations. True, that may mean other issues must have seemed larger, but then will your growth and 180s make that much more impact?
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
