More confused than ever

[woundedfool]

And yes I know Om is a distraction and every time I say I'm going to separate myself I can't. I'm sure it's the attention but I'm not sure I'm ready to give up our friendship for H just yet until I know H is serious. I have been very honest with H that we had been to dinner a couple times and do talk but nothing physical or anything. H told me he deserves that. He deserves for me to be with someone else and I deserve to be happy after everything he has done to me.

It would be reasonable to have a friendship with the guy, but I think you are playing with fire. If he is really your friend he will understand, you should say in no uncertain terms that for now and the foreseeable future your friendship can and will only be platonic (or only "lunch buddies"). I would caution confiding "marital issues", divorce issues, et al with him, as that is borderline EA.

To be brutally honest.... in this process you have found that you have lots of friends and family. I say there is zero need to add another to the pile. Especially considering one that has the potential to create such a distraction.

Plus ask yourself, will the new friendship bring you closer or further to a reconciliation?

I also received a call from my L. My H's L sent out a request to file for reconciliation. I declined the request. We have decided to do a 6 month abatement which H has agreed to. He would agree to just about anything at this point.

Make sure you get the cars back as well as the remainder of the inheritance

Plus, for the foreseeable future your finances/taxes/etc. should be 100% separate.

It is crazy to me to think he's ready to seriously cancel this divorce.

Why? As quick as that fog set in.... it has started to fade away.

He doesn't want to come home he wants to take things slow so I know he's here for the right reasons

Sounds reasonable.

Also H asked me to come to the job interview with him to talk with the owner (it is someone we both know) I declined. I told H this is his battle and I trust he can make a decision. I will be there to support him and give him my opinion but ultimately it is up to him to do what he thinks is best. He respected my decision and called me on the way home to go over everything. He asked the boys and I to dinner tonjght but I declined because I have plans

I think you handled this well, but I would add/reenforce: you do regret the pressure/nagging you previously given him about his career. As it is feeling like he is engaging you for approval because of the issues that came with the last job (previous to the D).