Hi Mighty,
Hope the concert was fun! My W was really into One Direction (big teen age music fan) and even our D14 would make fun of her about it (in a nice way). I think her taste in music reflected her MLC, lots of Avril L. and "angst" type stuff. I remember one song she would play over and over "Anything but ordinary" by Avril L. all about how she wanted anything but a "normal" life, even if she got her heart ripped out! Sounds like Avril was in her own MLC when she wrote that one! LOL

Had to speak to my lawyer today. Had to tell him that my D14 can't make up her mind about whether she wants to live with me or her mom and is avoiding the subject. He said unless she says she wants to live with me the court will do pretty much what we have been (7 days with me, 7 days with W) and if W and I can't agree that D14 should have a lot of leeway and not be "forced" to go to her place or spend a holiday or go on vacation, etc. with either of us, which W has said she wants to do (force her that is), than the court will order D14 to do so. Fallback in my state is unless both "partys" agree to open time then they will make D do exactly what my W wants. I had hoped that my D14 would say she wants to live with me in the only home that she has ever known but be able to go see and even live with her mom whenever she wanted. Hard to explain to a 14 year old that by agreeing to saying she wants to live with me she will still see her mom but just not be locked into what the court says she MUST do. All she thinks about is that she is having to choose me over her mom or vice versa. All my D14 would say was she wanted to see how doing things the way we have worked during school. Of course because her mom had to push things it is going to be hard to hold the D from getting finalized. Although there are property issues that I want changed, the biggest being that my W wants to just let me live in our home until our D14 turns 18 and then sell it and give me half. At the same time she wants to not have to split her retirement money, get more than half of the "stuff" including all the antiques and the best furniture. All I want is what's best for my d. I really think that what's best is her to live with me, especially when her mom is acting the way she is. W has totally abandoned our older D19 who really needs our help because my W is angry at her because she didn't want to live her. I know she will leave our D14 alone most every night working late, will want to leave her with her "friends" when she has to go out of town for work. I really truly think the only reasons she wants to even have custody at 50/50 is because she doesn't want to pay CS and because she is afraid of what people would say if she didn't get custody!

I called the IRS about the notice that my W got and guess what? They said exactly what I told her they would say...that she should just disregard the notice as the info they need is already in the system and in "pending" status. I texted my W and told her this and gave her the name and ID # of the cust. service person I spoke to and even had the CS person make a note on my W's file that they were called today and told to disregard the notice. I told her to feel free to call and ask herself if she wanted but all that she would be told is what I just said. At the end I told her that I would be sure to let her know as I get more info from them. I got back from W "K thanks" in a text.

I don't know anymore what I really want in regards to my soon to be over M and W. The only reason I want to have any kind of R with her at all is because of our D14. If not for her, I would just totally cut myself off from my W, finalize the D and never speak to her again as long as I live! I don't like who she has become MLC or whatever the cause. She destroyed our M because she was unhappy but can't say what I did to make her so. She pushed for D because her father told her it was the "right" thing to do and she can't say no to him about anything (I think out of fear he will just abandon her again like he did his only son). She has totally just stopped helping her own D19 like she doesn't matter, again I think because her father has told her too just let her fend for herself. I know she is in crisis. I know she is in real pain and doesn't know how to make it stop and has decided to blame me and her M, maybe because she doesn't feel "love" for me anymore or maybe because it's the biggest change she can see to make (something she once told me soon after B-day). Maybe because her father, the man she has wanted back in her life, to love her, has told her that if she does this he will respect her for it. Who knows? But if she were ever to come out of this fog. If she ever were to realize that the problems weren't with me or her M, I don't know that I could ever just allow her back in my life. So much pain, so much craziness. So much hurt. I guess I really have come to realize that my M, my old life is so totally and truly gone. All because of the whim of a 48 year old person who is so damaged she can't can't stand being in her own skin.

I'm sure this is just a phase. Part of the cycle of dealing with the end of my M. I just have to keep that in my mind, feel the emotions and then let them go and move forward. I guess the good news is I'm not "spinning", not all angry. Progress I think. I know I will get through this and be OK. I know my D14 will do the same. I think more than anything it's the realization that my old W is gone forever and I REALLY loved that person. Time to bury her and move on.