barely holding on - 2

[u-turn]

I made it through the weekend without back-stepping (I believe). Succeeded at my small goals. Pleasant, PMA, no talking about us or her or me. I guess it went pretty well according to plan, she just seems annoyed that I am not being her best friend right now. I think this is ok and I shouldn't try to figure out what she is thinking.

I have to say that it does make me feel a little better to detach - not natural but a it feels like I'm more removed from the troubles. Sometimes I think that things could be better right now if we weren't in the same house - this may have to happen.

I don't get emotional any more, I don't get angry, but sometimes I still get impatient. But I'll keep trying to control that - I have to keep my mind on the big picture. I know the ball is in her court but she doesn't want to do anything with it.

I think I am not completely detached yet, I am sometimes affected by the music she plays and the books and magazines she is reading these days (they have a whole new meaning when I know it is not me she is relating them to). I don't say anything about them and try to let it go. It's a struggle.



She did ask me again if I was ok going to her bosses cottage next weekend with her and the kids. I did ask who would be there . She said just us. (No OM or OMW will be there). I told her I'd be ok and asked if she would be too. It may be an opportunity for me to shine a little in front of her - be social with her boss, have a good time with the kids. I still think she just wants to look like a happy family in front of her boss.