just checkin in- you know, alot of what you describe - fits me also. I'm a bit in this longer - and i'd like to think one bit more "even" about it. but it's the same old thing- one does have fear (it's normal i think- get burned , keep away from fire, etc.). i'm not sayin we can't get a tighter control on "it", self, what4ever. i've got more patience and self-control than ever. then in other areas i see myself slip off some edge a bit- rant- carry on. reel me back in- try to keep emotions in check. try to keep my imagination in check- it is my worse enemy - tthen i find self thinking 'BUT WHAT if" that ole imagination is right. and then, and then, .....
it's hard- i succeed-fail- - dust self off, get up, continue. i expect alot more of me than i do of anyone else. i guess we know what we think we're capable of.
someone told me to treat me as i would my best friend-
i try and remember.
i read few days ago a daily "thought" about surendering. not necessarily as in admitting defeat - but in the sense of giving up once and for all in trying to alter, fix, change what is at the moment.
i'm aiming for that- i'm waaaay better. i'm not perfect.
we're just humans who have alot of stress & pain . just my two cents- you're doing okay all in all- don't expect yourself to be able to incorporate allll these db "rules" and regulations immediately and implement perfectly.
i'd say, on the whole, they are a good philosophy and something to use to aim for our goal. Even if the goal is to escape this all entirely without being too "broken" by it- it helps, the forum helps - i wonder every day how long i can do this- then i do one more day.
