It is really stressful stuff. This is what I am learning: Even after I got off h's rollercoaster, I find that I am on my own emotional rollercoaster. It has been a few months since I've taken that ride with him. (Minus the nuke week- I don't know what I was on then).
Even if I have no contact and nothing happens, I am a whirlwind of emotions. This weekend, for example, I was on a road trip with d13 and my niece (One Direction concert). The girls were in their own world, and I had lots of time by myself. I felt, contentment, sadness and despair, anger and rage, loneliness, happiness, independence, grief- all within short periods of time. I had not interactions with h- at all. I had no idea what he was doing and didn't even think about what he was doing. It was about me and not him. This was the path he put me on. My own craziness. I get it, Matt. You want off that roller coaster. It is better when you do, but realize you will probably have your own to ride. The good part about it is that it is YOUR ride then. It is about your emotions and feelings, needs and wants. You will then focus on you. It stinks, don't get me wrong, but this is the work being done. This is how we get better, stronger, wiser.... better.
Dealing with the IRS is NO FUN and can be very intimidating. Look at the bigger picture: it will be taken care of. Whatever the problem is, you can handle it. You will find a way to resolve it and move on from it. You can't change or control her actions, inactions, or reactions. Don't even think about them or what they may be. I think the more you engage her or keep her in the dark, the more she will react. Maybe you could email her updates and keep with the facts? Its a tough sitch. That is my hardest part these days is communication. Quite frankly, I don't want any. I want to run the other way! H texted me this morning- I wanted to run right out of my house away from my phone. How funny would that look? Me screaming bloody murder running down the street. "What happened? What are you running from?" A TEXT MESSAGE asking if s went to practice.
You got this, Matt. You will find happiness. The taxes sitch- yup, what a pain, but just handle it and know it is not going to break you. Just another bump in the road. Keep moving forward.
