We got into a R talk a bit. Thought she was opening up some, but really was just venting. She told me she was not ready to do anything right now. She thought I had changed a lot, and stuff, but she doesn't trust me or love anything right now. She is not where I am in the relationship.
I know it was bad, but I told her I felt about everything. Told her I made bad choices, and that it wasn't me, but wrong stuff I chose to do. I think I messed up big time here, and put my chances way back on the wrong path. I saw an opening and took too much. We were talking a lot more, and now that I pushed I know it will be a while until we talk much again. I will just have to pray that my chances are ruined for now. All I can do. I will do my best to not contact, unless she does, but unlikely.
The sexual feelings really have been getting to me. It's been so long and my feelings for her have grown. I went out this weekend with friends had a great time, but couldn't stop thinking about her. Women even flirted with me, and I just thought they are not my wife. They are not good enough. What to do here, I don't know, I need to find something for a distraction. Hope others are having better times!!
