Hi Jacket, sorry you are here but now you have a bunch of terrific new friends who really understand what is going on with you!
As far as what to do if your H asks you to do something and you have to decline, I can't say I am the expert on this but I have done it a few times during my DB adventure, including today.
First of all, it sounds like you are GAL. So you don't have to come up with a lie. If you really are busy, just say nicely "I can't, I'm busy". You don't have to say why and he probably won't ask. But if he does ask, you can say the truth but vague, such as: "I'm having dinner with friends" (what friends? you can leave out the details) "I have a meeting" "I have an appointment" "I have plans with friends" etc All very vague.
My H doesn't usually ask why I can't meet. When he asks to meet I usually just say "I can't do Tuesday. Maybe next week" or something like that, then wait for him to make the follow up move or give myself the option to do so in the future if I want to. If you read my (long) threads you might see that at first I used these vague replies when he would ask to meet, and then he became very curious, almost angry and aggressive saying "are you really THAT busy?" He was hurt that I didn't have time for him. And yes I was really busy, it was not fake. GAL baby!
Good luck with your situation and it sounds like you are doing well.
