"Don't believe anything they say" refers to the BETRAYER.
Do I need to repeat that one too?
You don't have lines of communication open at the moment but if she contacted you before she could contact you again. So you work to be a great, generous, UNSELFISH man in preparation for the time when she might contact you again. Yes, even if you're waiting in perpetuity. That's the reason for so much of the other feedback you've gotten here.
130 days of "sexual sobriety" is not convincing to a woman who experienced 600 days of betrayal.
Getting rid of doubtful friends is unimpressive. You fooled her, you could fool integrous males too.
Meditation, therapy, and gratitude journaling as a basis for safety? Really? You need to learn how a healthy person lives before you say something like that.
What you said about entrusting her kids to you... That just made me laugh. Not sufficient. You don't know what you're talking about if you think participating in Alateen has any relationship to being In the parenting trenches for 18+ years. You can't be committed enough to her to go 100 days without contacting her because that's what SHE needs. Why should she think you could make it through a pregnancy? Or fertility issues? Or the newborn period? Let's not even discuss potty-training, special needs, bullying, puberty, etc.
Will you cheat on her when she's post-partum, feeling unattractive and worn out and doesn't want to be touched? Does she deserve to worry that you will?
NO PURSUIT. Of any kind. Period.
You may whine that I'm being harsh. I am not. I'm being frank. I want you to be better because the world needs to be full of better people. What kind of man do you want to be?
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
