WAWs or Wayward M: How to SHOW change is afoot?

[DBinSF]

Hi all,

This is a continuation of my previous two threads. I'm 3 months out from "bomb drop" day when my affair was revealed. I'd ended the affair 5 weeks prior, but that didn't provide much consolation to my lovely fiancee.

Now, I'm in the middle of obsessing what to do next. I'm writing and rewriting an apology letter (it's been ~6 weeks since the last time I proactively reached out), despite the polite protests of many a friend on here. And I have mounting worries that she is rushing to move on. That's her post-breakup pattern. She once remarried within a year.

I'm also GALing to some degree, but most of my friends (mostly common friends) know I'm still just scraping bottom. The depression is debilitating. And the fixation that "she is the only remedy" is not seeming to go away, despite many slaps to the side of the head .

So... what to do next? I'm making MANY positive changes in my attitude towards sex, my feelings of "need" regarding attention from women, etc (all the things that led to the affair), but I have no idea how to convey that back to W. Or if I should.

Any M who have been in my shoes and made it work? Any WAWs with advice on how to SHOW change, even incrementally?

-DB