The Amoeba Whisperer: "It's All Dog Training!"

[Wonka]

But that angry, pushy text stuff.

That was so weird and I was prepared to ignore it, until it seems now HE is demanding to talk.
That's what's making me nervous, I guess.

Ugh.

It is within your power to request what GUBU wishes to talk about so you can make a determination if you're at a place to talk with him. You just don't know YET because you haven't responded to his text.

[GoatGal]

You mean like DBing Flirting?

Or DBing Hookups!!

Guess that could happen. Understandable why it's not set up like that.
I figured that was why no PM were allowed.

A lot of vulnerable people on here, looking for support and feeling unloved, sharing their deepest fears and dreams...

Yep. Could happen.

---GGG

[Wonka]

Thanks, Wonka.

I will use that. I'm going to sit on it a bit though.

But honestly, if he says--even in writing--that we need to move this D forward, or anything about what HE wants next that is going to be hurtful to me... I am not in a place to even read that right now.

So I want to tell him to hold that thought, not forever, but for awhile.

---GGG

That is what self-care is all about. Smart choice.

[GoatGal]

Wonka,

So that would be OK?
To write back what you suggested, but add (upfront):

"I am not in a good place to receive any negative information right now so if you had something like that you wanted to share, I am open to discussing it, but at a later date. Thanks."


?????

Too wimpy/TMI ???


---GGG

[Wonka]

Change of subject, GGG.

I do want to comment that I am with Bea about the animals. What I am seeing is that this venture is robbing you of your own vitality and health. It is a drain on your emotions, physical well-being, and social activities.

We all know that this is a decision that you don't and won't take lightly. However, I do ask you: Who's looking out for #1?? GUBU isn't a reliable guy and you may not be able to depend on him for a while while he's on Planet Zog to borrow from Bea.

I am concerned for you and your overall well-being. As you said previously, this isn't sustainable. You are a young woman in her 50's and I would hate to see you become a shell of the person that you are now in 5 years down the road.

As Bea said, there are other rescue centers that would gladly take on your animals. Then you'll have free time to finish up house projects, enjoy time with friends, and perhaps take on a job that will bring you some income.

I think this whole operation is a drain on both of you and GUBU.

What are your thoughts? You do not have to decide now. But I believe this is a conversation that you need to have with yourself and possibly with GUBU down the road.

[Wonka]

To write back what you suggested, but add (upfront):[/b]

"I am not in a good place to receive any negative information right now so if you had something like that you wanted to share, I am open to discussing it, but at a later date. Thanks."

What I see here is that you're borrowing trouble with that approach. We do not know what GUBU wants to talk about at all. So by sending that general text, you'll be able to get some idea of what GUBU wants to talk about judging by his response. Make sense?

We will stay with you here. I'm keeping an eye out for you here.

[GoatGal]

Here's what I wanted to write, and honesty, I was feeling a lot better with my caveat in place!

Right now I really don't want to know if he is going to throw another grenade in my foxhole. Not today, not now.
I don't think it's a good idea for me to hear that he is ready to separate our finances, move in with OW, anything. Nothing like that.
I know you guys are here but that needs to wait.

Take my word for it. It NEEDS TO WAIT.

"GUBU,

Sure...thanks for letting me know you’d like to talk in person.
I agree that things don’t always come across as intended in text/email.

It would be helpful to let me know ahead of time what it is that you wish to discuss tomorrow.

However, I would appreciate it if you would hold off on sharing any upsetting information with me at this time.

I am not in a frame of mind to respond to it in a constructive way and that’s not fair to you and what you might have to say.

I don’t mean hold off forever, just until I get my feet back under me. I’ll let you know when that is.



Thanks,

--GGG"

[GoatGal]

He could say:

"I want to talk about moving forward with the D."

And then you can stick a fork in me, because I'll be DONE.

Seriously.

Back me up here... is it so bad to avoid this right now?

[Wonka]

GGG,

I can see that you're feeling emotionally vulnerable right now and not feeling particularly strong at the moment. That is normal and very human too.

My suggestion?

Sleep on this tonight. Then re-assess tomorrow.

[Shining]

My fellow Spinner, GGG,

Perhaps take a step back, and identify what is within your control?

If you can't handle a potentially stressful or negative topic yet, then don't agree to have one.

We can't control what others wish to discuss. We can control whether we engage in it.

Get to a good, positive place, then be ready for anything. Because you can't know what someone else, especially in MLC, will say.