You're right. I am VERY grateful that he is present for our daughter. For her sake. For his sake. Just because. It's a GREAT thing and analyzing it any further is moot. He was an incredible father and is now even better because he's PRESENT and what a great gift!
I don't think I would involve your H in the DB coaching just yet, but that's just my opinion. I'd continue monitoring results and ask your coach for his/her opinion about involving your H during the following session.
That's great that your H is more involved with your D now! I know that it stinks that he's doing so under these circumstances, but it's nice to see him making positive changes as well. Is there a way you can let him know that you see these changes and how happy they make you, without talking about your R or bringing up touchy subjects?
Me: 35, H: 37, no kids Together since 2002, Married since 2007 IDKIILY: 2/2013 MC: 5/2013-6/2014 H stated he was REALLY done: 4/2014 I moved out 7/6/14 H filed end of 8/2014 but still hasn't served me
Hi Ss, just checking in and saying hi. I hope you are doing GREAT today!
Just to respond to one of your questions a few posts back, one thing that has been really hard for me is telling people (acquaintances) about the situation between H and I. And also continually getting surprised and sad messages and calls from people who he told like his family and friends. I hate it. I am even avoiding some people because I don't want to have to tell the whole story over and over. Of course my close friends and family know but there are tons of others who don't know yet. I dread seeing them and having to answer questions. If I don't tell then they eventually hear through the grapevine and get upset that I didn't share. Ugh.
Hi, Lisa, yes I am having a GREAT day because I got to kiss my D's cheeks last night AND this morning and that's my favorite thing to do in the whole wild world! It's a beautiful day!
I think saying "we're separated" to others just makes it more real, which is good because denial doesn't help, but it's hard. I'm going out with a few ladies for one of their birthdays tonight. My d has been friends with their kids since they were all 2. They each at separate times have slammed on divorce and what a horrible thing it is for the children and a break of commitment, etc. so I know there'll be judgement. I think because it's someone's birthday I'll hold off. It's not about me tonight. There's just really no "right time". I know you know. This blows... BUT as my post above states... I am strong, I am invincible!!!
I feel your pain about having to say "we are separated" when people accidentally loop you into a conversation together,
One thing that has helped me to hurt less while answering is to have a standard response.
Mine is -
We are separated. We have been best friends for 14 years, and I hope to be friends for the next 14.
I know it hurts, it will hurt for a while. But every day it hurts just a little less. There is hope.
Me: 35 Her: 33 D : 16 S : 9 Together: 14 years Married: 12 She left 4/14/2014 Separated: 5/25/2014 OM Confirmed 7/2014 She filed 8/7/2014 I Filed 10/21/2014 Divorce final 2/12/2015
