2.5 Months After D-day...and I wait

[DBinSF]

I'm not sending this, but I'm posting as part of my editing process... The good news is it's shorter.
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Julia,

Thank you again for the kind email on my birthday. That really meant a lot to me. I remain amazed by your capacity for compassion and self-awareness. I felt your note merited a more thoughtful response, so here goes…

I realize you are still very angry and hurt, and you have every reason to be. I sit here and think of what I did to you, and I can barely believe it. I betrayed you and deceived you in a way no one should ever have to endure. There is no excuse. I’m also very sorry for my selfish inability to let go in the months after the breakup, for my glib attempts at playfulness, and for my complete lack of respect for your requests for space and time.

I know I don’t get to ask anything of you anymore. Your pain is too great -- my actions too damaging. Working with Greg and others, I’ve come to understand the depth of the pain I have caused, and I understand that I have to accept your decision. I know I need to let you seek a love you can believe in. I want nothing but for you to be happy, and I can think of no one more deserving of a healthy, nurturing family than you.

Understanding your pain motivates me to do the work to make sure this never happens again. My job at this point is to continue to work on healing the old wounds that led me to hurt the love of my life in this way. I know if there is ANY chance at even a friendship between us in the future it will require a continued period of healing and growth for each of us.

I don’t need to tell you how much I miss you… your laugh, your smile, your generous heart, your thoughtfulness, your creativity, your appreciation of the simple things. I’ve never met a woman like you, and I still believe we would be ideal life partners if I had done the work I’m doing now before we had ever met. Our connection is rare, and it’s what I want in a life partnership.

Julia, please know that I love you and want nothing but the best for you. If someday you’d like to get together even for just a coffee, I would welcome that. But if that day never comes, I wish you love, health, and happiness wherever your path may lead. I know whoever you choose as your life partner will be the luckiest guy in the world.

Always,
Me